


1 New Message (FOWL Edition!)

by Wishflare



Series: Ducktales Chats! [2]
Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991), DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Gay Chicken, Gen, Light Angst, Other, Shut the fuck upinator, Texting, dumb, trash compactors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 09:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27848774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wishflare/pseuds/Wishflare
Summary: ducktales chat fic but its fowl being an office comedy(you dont have to read normal 1 New Message to read this but i advise it)
Relationships: Steelbeak x Fresh air
Series: Ducktales Chats! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2038606
Comments: 42
Kudos: 33





	1. eviling

**Author's Note:**

> youre pretty cool if you read this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gandra is smart and bradford is being evil
> 
> steelbeak is just being steelbeak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> names are obvious lol
> 
> also messages that were deleted have < on them

-dee has started a groupchat

Buzzard - Is the app you were talking about?

dee - yep

Buzzard - And you're sure that it doesnt track any of our conversations, right?

dee - i made it so like yeah it does

Buzzard - Oh. Are you going to invite the others?

dee - already on it, i just made heron and steelbeak an account

Buzzard - is there a child safety lock on this app? id like to make sure steelbeak doesnt do anything too stupid <

dee - no but i can make one lol <  
dee - also you should probably delete that before i invite steelbeak <

Buzzard - Yes I am aware of how he gets when we call him stupid. <

-Messages deleted

-Steelbeak joined the chat 

-Heron joined the chat

Steelbeak - hey gandra why cant i unhide my profile?

dee - because you'd post pictures and give away our location

Buzzard - May I ask why other people can use this app?

dee - you wanna know about mcduck and the kids right?

Buzzard - Yes.

dee - well they use this app too and like i said before, i can access chatlogs

Buzzard - So this is another way to spy on them?

dee - basically

Buzzard - Smart, just make sure those McDuck enterprises scientists dont find out, they're too smart for their own good.

Steelbeak - are we gonna like cyberbully them into letting us takeover the world?

Buzzard - No.

Steelbeak - ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're very cool and sexy if you read this!


	2. fresh air makes me gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fresh air makes steelbeak gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> -buzzkill -bradford  
> -dee -gandra  
> -heron -heron  
> -rotisserie shithead -steelbeak  
> -inkblot -phantom blot

buzzkill: Any new updates on McDuck?  
buzzkill: And why is my name buzzkill?

dee: ill change it

buzzkill: No, its fine. Just answer my question.

dee: no theres no important stuff but i learned that one of them somehow has a worse sleep schedule than me 

buzzkill: Ah.

rotisserie shithead: sleep? whats that?  
rotisserie shithead: HEY WHY IS THIS MY NAME

dee: because its funny lmao

buzzkill: Please keep this clean.  
buzzkill: but i will allow you to keep steelbeak's name as that

rotisserie shithead: HEY WHAT THE FUCK

inkblot: is it make fun of steelbeak hour?

rotisserie shithead: NO  
rotisserie shithead

STOP ILL PUNCH YOU DONT MAKE ME LEAVE THE BATHROOM

dee: ew why are you sharing that, also im not even in at fowl hq im buying groceries since buzzkill decided it was my job to buy cafeteria food

buzzkill: I do not appreciate being called that, also you look the most like a normal kid

dee: im 25 but ok  
dee: but yeah thats smart

rotisserie shithead: are you saying i dont look normal?

buzzkill: Steelbeak, you have a 5 pound piece of metal on your face and you refuse to dress in anything less fancy than a suit.

rotisserie shithead: fine  
rotisserie shithead: but gandra doesnt look any better

dee: are you saying im ugly

rotisserie shithead: yes

buzzkill: Steekbeak please stop.

dee: OH OKAY MR FRESH AIR MAKES ME GAY

rotisserie shithead: SHUT UP WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT

dee: WELL NOW WE DO

inkblot: OH NO EVHDIVYDGIYG

buzzkill: Whats going on?

dee: NO NO NO THIS ONE TIME

rotisserie shithead: NO STOP

dee:WE WERE OUTSIDE AND STEELBEAK WAS BEING A JERK TO BUGS AND HE BROUGHT OUT A CAN OF BUG KILLER OR SOMETHING AND THEN HE SAID "fresh air makes me gay" AND LITERALLY IT WAS SO FUNNY AND HE WAS SO CONFUSED WHY WE WERE LAUGHING AND WE WERE JUST LOSING OUR MINDS AND WHEN WE TOLD HIM HE STARTED YELLING LIKE "nono i meant gay" AND THEN HE GOT SUPER MAD BECAUSE HE COULDNT SAY GAG RIGHT AND IT WAS SO FUNNY 

buzzkill: i

dee: HOLD ON I THINK I HAVE THE VIDEO IN A DRIVE SOMEWHERE

-after a minute gandra sends a video:

(steelbeak, taking out a can of bug killer and spraying a butterfly: "fresh air makes me gay"

"Wait what did you say?" Gandra says, its recording from her eye cameras. blot is standing next to her, laughing a bit Steelbeak stands and looks at them, confused. "I said fresh air makes me gay" Steelbeak realizes what he was saying. "gay gay gay GAY GAY GAAAY!" Steelbeak shouts in frustration Gandra and Blot are losing their minds, the camera gets a bit blurry from the tears and then turns off)

inkblot: LMAO

rotisserie shithead: WHAT THE FUCK GANDRA

inkblot: HERON AND BRADFORD ARE TELLING ME ABOUT THE LATEST MISSION AND WHAT I HAVE TO DO  
inkblot: BRADFORD IS TELLING ME TO STOP LOOKING AT MY PHONE AND ASKED ME WHY IM LAUGHING  
inkblot: WHEN I SHOWED HIM HE LOST HIS MIND LMAO 

dee: WE HAVE ACHIEVED MAKE BRADFORD ABSOLUTELY LOSE IT

buzzkill: Gandra no.

dee: oh bye i gtg, ill see you guys later

inkblot: yeah me too bye

buzzkill: Leave the groceries on the counter in the cafeteria, ill have some eggheads set everything up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fresh air x steelbeak


	3. fowl is rad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steelbeak is cool and sexy
> 
> usernames:  
> salt -pepper

dee: steelbeak stop looking at yourself in the mirror

rotisserie shithead: what

dee: im LITERALLY in the break room like 5 feet away

rotisserie shithead: SHIT HOW DID YOU GET HERE

dee: magic inkblot: w h a t dee: blot no dee: its a joke inkblot: oh ok dee: oh how was your mission? inkblot: uhhhhh dee: you lost the bagpipe didnt you inkblot: noooooo dee: hhhhh bradford's gonna give you steelbeak treatment salt: what happened to steelbeak? dee: he lives in the bathroom salt: :O why doesnt he have one of his own rooms? dee: bradford told him that there weren't enough rooms dee: theres atleast like 5 more single rooms lmao rotisserie shithead: WAIT WHAT

rotisserie shithead: BRADFORD

buzzkill: Yes, Steelbeak?

rotisserie shithead: WHY DO I LIVE IN THE BATHROOM WHEN YOU HAVE ROOMS OPEN

buzzkill: I do not have an answer.

dee: STEELBEAK JUST THREW HIS PHONE

heron: THOSE THINGS ARE EXPENSIVE TO MAKE  
heron: WHY DOES HE KEEP BREAKING THEM

dee: im considering just giving him a nokia

inkblot: i  
inkblot: its not a bad idea


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the shut the fuck up-inator

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steelbeak gets his beak shut

-dee started a new groupchat "agents"

-dee added salt  
-dee added rotisserie shithead  
-dee added inkblot

inkblot: huh

dee: i think i got all the cool people and steelbeak

inkblot: "AND STEELBEAK"-

salt: speaking of steelbeak  
salt: whats wrong with him??

dee: alot of things

salt: no i mean like his beak is closed  
salt: like i dont think he can open it  
salt: he keepts doing weird frantic gestures with his hands 

dee: ah shit  
dee: he probably pissed off bradford again

salt: but why is his beak shut

dee: bradford had heron and me put a closing thing in his beak

salt: just getting "pissed off" doesnt mean bradford should keep steelbeak's beak shut!  
salt: doesn't he need that to eat and stuff??  
salt: and if you helped make it then why dont you just open it for him??

inkblot: yeah why dont you

dee: heron thought i was "gonna ruin it" so she cut me out of the project halfway

salt: >:(  
salt: poor steelbeak

dee: and bradford wonders why i didnt let heron help with my eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this was really short, i wanted it to be kinda on the schedule of every day


	5. BRUH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steelbeak? more like steelbreak smh

agents:

rotisserie shithead: hey why were you talking about me

dee: because heron and bradford both suck

rotisserie shithead: oh ok

salt: yeah they do!

inkblot: what she said!  
inkblot: lmao  
inkblot: but yeah, heron fucking sucks

rotisserie shithead: you guys always act like you love those two though

dee: bruh

inkblot: BRUH

salt: bruh! >:[  
salt: wait what does bruh even mean

dee: bruh

salt: ok

rotisserie shithead: ok then  
rotisserie shithead: sh ihjk

dee: what happened

rotisserie shithead: I BROKE A THNGJKD

dee: shit what did you break

rotisserie shithead: IDK SOEM MACHINE THINH  
rotisserie shithead: ITS LIKE A BIG BOX THINGYY

inkblot: VYUVYEFYIT

dee: FUCKDGDYDJDJ   
dee: HERON'S LATEST SECRET PROJECT 

rotisserie shithead: FUCKK SOMEINE   
rotisserie shithead: I HEAR SOMEONE COMEONG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cant believe steelbeak fucking died
> 
> alsoooo the parts with spamming i typed as fast as i could so i could capture the p a n i k t e x t s lol
> 
> also i might have a little hiatus that lasts maybe like a day or two so i decided to give yall a cliffhanger haha


	6. trash compactor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chicken trash can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steelbeak + trash compactor
> 
> also i 100% headcannon sb, pb and gandra being like siblings in fowl and then with pepper i like peppetblot so shes their cool sister in law or something  
> i can headcannon what i want shut up lol
> 
> i do not condone violence against steelbeak unless its just an excuse to make a bunch of things centered around him
> 
> if you cant tell i love steelbeak

agents:

salt: hey guys wheres steelbeak??  
salt: i went to his new room to give him dinner but he wasnt there :(

dee: i don't know?? i looked everywhere for him but the last time i talked to him was when he broke the thing  
dee: i never thought id say this but im actually really worried

salt: oh no! :(  
salt: i read up in chat

inkblot: oh god

salt: did heron do something??  
salt: i saw some really big eggheads with her earlier going into her lab

dee: i dont know but i asked bradford and made up some excuse about needing him for an experiment but he hadnt seen him  
dee: and then when i asked heron she just walked away

inkblot: i dont know, i think i saw heron go outside with the eggheads around the time of that while i was in my office

salt: yeah i saw her too!

dee: ill go check outside, dont know why she would be going out though

\---

dee: i dont see anything  
dee: wait theres a laser ray in a bush outside of funzos

salt: hmmmmm 

inkblot: why would heron just leave one of those around  
inkblots: kids could get hurt

dee: yeah i dont know

salt: well good thing its there and a kid doesnt have it!

dee: yeah but why is it here  
dee: OH NO I THINK THE DUMPSTER JUST MOVED

salt: uhhh

dee: ok i gotta calm down maybe its just a really strong rat

inkblot: a rat that could move an entire dumpster?

salt: i mean there was that intelliray  
salt: maybe theres a strongray?

inkblot: yeah thats smart

salt: thanks!

dee: OH NO  
dee: IT MOVED AGAIN

salt: maybe you should check inside??

dee: UHHH  
dee: OK  
dee: DUMPSTER DIVING TIME

salt: okay!

dee: ok the lid is very heavy ummm  
dee: i got it opewne hm m, mhm jkj

salt: what happened??

dee: WELL I FOUND STEELBEAK

salt: what??

dee: HE'S IN THE FUCKING TRASH  
dee: QHAT THE FUCK HERON

inkblot: WVU7YYS8YVS8VYSGYV

dee: AND OF COURSE SHE XLOSED HIS FUCKJNG BEAK  
dee: JESUS CHRISTFUSHHSVUOINISEJJ

salt: oh no

inkblot: is he ok though

dee: no and im WAY too small to get him out

\---

fowl:

dee: @buzzkill

buzzkill: Yes gandra?

dee: so heron decided to put steelbeak out in the trash and shut his beak  
dee: can someone help

buzzkill: Shes going to be the death of me buzzkill: so much for the trash compactors.. 

inkblot: i

buzzkill: Im going to go knock some sense into her  
buzzkill: Ill also send some eggheads over  
buzzkill: Where are you

dee: in the dumpster outside funzos

buzzkill: As in right outside?

dee: yes

buzzkill: Just wait out there for the eggheads...

\---

agents:

dee: after hearing about the trash compactor incident im very thankful that it was only the trash

salt: yeah

inkblot: note to self, do not get on heron's bad side

dee: that goes for all of us  
dee: like literally when i fell in the trash and was talking to steelbeak he told me he didnt even break it that badly

salt: >:(

dee: and i checked before heron closed off the lab  
dee: it literally just had a dent in it and a light or something broke inside of it

inkblot: BRUH

rotisserie shithead: yeah like i just put a tiny dent in it

salt: steelbeak!  
salt: are you okay?

rotisserie shithead: yeah

dee: good  
dee: also did you know about the trash compactor thing  
dee: because you arent usually scared of really anyone ever

rotisserie shithead: yeah  
rotisserie shithead: but i wasnt scared so like

dee: shut up 

rotisserie shithead: no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont ask me why he's in a trashcan, it was a good idea at the time
> 
> also more trash compactor jokes
> 
> also i hope yall thought steelbeak was fed through a trash compactor, tried making it sound that way smh
> 
> also kinda just steelbeak being thrown in the garbage https://archiveofourown.org/works/27976020


	7. broken glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> doctors are for losers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> relationship between gandra and steelbeak is very much inspired by mine and my sister's since its the only good sibling relationship ive experienced

agents:

dee: SO I WAS LOOKING OVER MCDUCK FAMILY CHATLOGS  
dee: STEELBEAK SPILL THE TEA??

-Gandra sends a picture (chapter 7 of "1 New Message")

freshair: OHHHH THATS WHY HE LOOKED FAMILIAR  
freshair: yeah i remember like a long time ago

dee: OH MY GOD

freshair: i dated a guy, name was launchpad mcquack  
freshair: NEVER THOUGHT SO MANY YEARS LATER ID BE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM 

dee: OH MY GOD THIS IS

freshair: also you changed my name?-

dee: yeah lmao

freshair: NO NOT FRESH AIR  
freshair: STOP BULLYING ME

dee: NO  
dee: HAHAHAAHHAHAHAAH

freshair: i fucking hate you

dee: aww thanks <3

salt: you guys are such cute siblings!

freshair: wait what

salt: you're brother and sister right?

dee: no??

salt: oh

freshair: change my name or ill punch you

dee: ill electrocute you first >:)

freshair: nooooo  
freshair: ok but being shocked really fucking hurts

dee: obviously 

freshair: no like with my beak yknow

dee: oh yeah  
dee: sucks doesnt it?

freshair: people wonder why i hate summer and winter 

dee: rip

salt: wdym?

freshair: my beak is like the metal part of a seatbelts  
freshair: yknow how its either super fucking hot or super fucking cold

salt: ohhhhh  
salt: thats sad :(

freshair: very.

dee: wonder if heron has the same problem with her arm

freshair: god i hope so

salt: thats not nice to say!

inkblot: pepper, she shot him and put him in the trash

salt: still..

dee: oh hey blot

inkblot: hello

freshair: damn i want some sandwiches  
freshair: im gonna make myself a sandwich

dee: make me one too

freshair: go back to sleep and starve

dee: damn  
dee: also whats sleep lmao, never heard of her 

freshair: idk but im probably not meeting her tonight   
freshair: also quick queston  
freshair: how do i get glass out of my hand

dee: WHY HAVENT YOU GONE TO THE DOCTOR FOR THAT

freshair: doctors are for wimps

dee: you're actually so dumb sometimes  
dee: if you dont go to the doctors i won't hesitate to drag you

freshair: dont fucking call me dumb  
freshair: also you're like tiny  
freshair: how will you drag me there

dee: i have my ways :)

freshair: fine

dee: also im only tiny to you  
dee: you're like literally 7 feet tall

freshair: its because im superior 

dee: stfu

freshair: you cant make me

dee: BUT BRADFORD CAN  
dee: OHNOJGHKTUCIDTYTCYI  
dee: im gonna go die now

freshair: im killing you

inkblot: I

salt: steelbeak no!

freshair: STEELBEAK YES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gandra is being chased by steelbeak, pepper is trying to stop him


	8. screw you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> banjo kazooie: nuts and bolts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow another steelbeak centered chapter? who would have guessed

buzzkill: Alright who dared Steelbeak to down a bucket of screws?

dee: correction: 3 buckets of rusty screws and the bucket

inkblot: GANDRA WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS LOL

dee: dont act like you werent there

inkblot: shhhh

buzzkill: You all are going to be the death of me

dee: to be fair he was being an asshole

buzzkill: Alright but please try to not do that again, he left a mess in my office 

dee: okay

salt: so thats the noise coming from steelbeak's room-

inkblot: ouch rip

salt: you think i should check on him?

dee: yeah probably

freshair: no im fine i swear

agents:

-heron has joined 

dee: HEY HOW DID YOU GET IN

heron: i have my ways  
heron: also im an agent too, arent i?

dee: why are you here, to spy on us?

heron: im ratting you all out to bradford.

dee: WHAT WH

heron: im kidding.

salt: um-

inkblot: WH

heron: ive actually come to apologize and tell all of you the truth  
heron: ive never wanted to do any of that to steelbeak

dee: yeah thats fucking bullshit

freshair: bullshit

heron: no you have to believe me  
heron: bradford told me he had seen what steelbeak did to my shit on the security cameras

dee: and then you threw him in the trash

heron: well yes but  
heron: bradford told me to dispose of him after this since my project was really really expensive and was supposed to be useful  
heron: and also because he kept doing stupid shit and was supposed to be a throwaway agent before i suggested we give him his beak 

freshair: um

heron: he told me to just put him in the trash compactor like the last agent but

dee: but what

heron: thats not important   
heron: i didnt want to so i just threw him in the trash instead

dee: yeah alright bradford told us that you put the last agent through 6 trash compactors

heron: yes i did but that was a long time ago   
heron: he only asked me to put her through 1 but i suggested 6 to scare the other agents

freshair: whhhsshxxjxxjjxsj

heron: also if youre going to ask about his beak i didnt want to put the closing mechanism in but bradford forced me to since i wanted to give him the beak in the first place 

dee: im currently sitting with steelbeak and he has the no thoughts head empty look  
dee: also if youre wondering what just happened he just broke his phone

heron: of course he fucking did  
heron: im so close to just taking away his phone privileges 

dee: steelbeak is breaking things

heron: of course he is

dee: he broke the coffee machine again um help

heron: guess im going to starducks   
heron: just bring him to the training room please, theres not alot of breakables in there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but the scene in the split sword of swanstantine really got me laughing but also ouch like just chugging those screws must hurt like alot
> 
> also heron is fucking rad and is actually cool


	9. coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they may be evil but they still get eachother coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly coffee sucks lol

agents:

heron: im at starducks what do you guys want

inkblot: can i just have straight espresso

salt: can i have just some hot chocolate with whipped cream

heron: blot wtf

dee: um ill have just like what blots getting

heron: what the fuck  
heron: does steelbeak want anything?

dee: i dont know he's still breaking stuff

salt: get him some tea, it usually calms him down

dee: wh-  
dee: ok

heron: ill be back with the orders

dee: wait wtf how are you out

heron: i have a disguise

dee: oh

\--

dee: i have a question  
dee: why did you guys lie about stuff like that? like wouldnt it benefit bradford to have us scared of him?

heron: Because you wouldn't work for someone you hate, would you?

dee: fuck thats smart

heron: also i left your drinks in the breakroom so go get them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was so short, i didnt know what to do for it this time lol
> 
> ay yo would you read more of these extra little scenes in the notes?:
> 
> Gandra grabbed her coffee off the table and then glanced to the tea that was left on the table marked 'steelbeak'. That was weird, everybody else had taken their drinks, why hadnt he?
> 
> She decided to take matters into her own hands, grabbing the tea off the table and walking down to steelbeak's sleeping quarters. When she opened the door she realized just how small the room he had been given was. "Hey Steelbeak, you didnt grab your tea." She said and then closed the door to reveal Steelbeak sitting in the corner on his bed, his head buried in his knees. 
> 
> "Are you okay? Do you just want me to leave this here?-" Gandra wasnt the best at talking to people. "Just go." The rooster said, not even sounding like he meant it. Gandra looked at him for another second, noticing his bloody hands. "Jesus christ, what happened to your hands?" She asked.
> 
> "Just punched some stuff too hard, now leave." He said. "Are you sure you dont want like um... Bandages or something..?-" She asked, setting down his tea. Without warning he quickly stood up "GO OR ILL MAKE YOU!" Steelbeak literally snapped, his beak making a loud and sharp sound like a bear trap as it snapped closed. 
> 
> Gandra jumped and closed the door, she heard him lock the door from the other side. Pepper was standing just around the corner. "I was gonna warn you that he didnt wanna be bothered, he did the same thing when i tried bringing him his drink.." She said with a sigh.
> 
> "Dont let him get to you, he just gets bitchy like this sometimes.." Gandra said as she basically stomped away from the hallways, going towards her own quarters to work on one of her projects.


	10. too chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gandra is too chicken
> 
> i just like steelbeak and gandra ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steelbeak..? idk man i just thought it was neat

FOWL:

buzzkill: Where is steelbeak?

heron: i dont know

dee: he's in his room, i went to check on him a while ago

buzzkill: Well tell him that he needs to come here right now, theres a very important meeting going on and we need him.

agents:

salt: i think blot is on his way to kill steelbeak-

dee: what

salt: he yelled at me earlier and i told blit and well

dee: oh yeah  
dee: oh no

inkblot: nobody yells at my partner

dee: blot no

inkblot: blot yes

freshair: blot just because i broke all my fingers doesnt mean i cant pummel you

dee: woah what all your fingers??

freshair: yeah uhhh turns out punching stuff kinda hurts

inkblot: how are you typing?

freshair: text to speech

salt: have you bandaged them yet??

freshair: no

dee: you fucking idiot

freshair: call me an idiot one more time and my fists wont be the only things broken 

dee: geez man sorry 

freshair: sure you are

dee: but seriously  
dee: go bandage your hands and go visit the doctor 

freshair: no, i dont think i will

dee: steelbeak ill literally knock you out and drag you there myself if i have to

salt: hey stop!

freshair: do it coward

\---

buzzkill: Can someone please explain to me why i just saw gandra dragging steelbeak through the hall?

inkblot: no, we actually can't explain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dumb extra scene:
> 
> ~~~~
> 
> Gandra walked through the hall, her sneakers clacking gently on the floor as she made her way to Steelbeak's tiny room
> 
> "Dumb fucking rooster.. wont fucking take care of himself.." She quietly cursed as she approached the door. "HEY SHITHEAD GET OUT HERE! IM TAKING YOU TO THE DOCTOR!" The hen yelled as she banged her fist on the metal door.
> 
> "Gandra will you SHUT UP? Im not going to the fucking doctors, im not a wuss!" He yelled back. 
> 
> Gandra opened the door.
> 
> "Jesus christ! I coulda been naked or something! You ever heard of knoc- oh wait" Steelbeak just scowled. "Just get out of my room, nerd! I dont need you to take care of me like you're my mom!"
> 
> Gandra rolled her eyes. "You're coming with me whether you like it or not!" She said as she took off her gloves and powered up her nanotech palms. "Well im not coming with you so get out!" He stood up and pointed to the door.
> 
> "Yes you are!" She grabbed him and the nanotech worked its science, zapping him until he finally collapsed. "OH SHIT WAIT DID I KILL HIM?-" Gandra kneeled down and checked his pulse. "Unconscious... not dead.." She sighed in relief.
> 
> Gandra grabbed his right arm and started to pull him.
> 
> It didnt exactly work. "Jesus- Christ-" She struggled to get the much larger chicken to move. "He really has to lay off the sandwiches-" She grunted as she moved him bit by bit out of the room. She was able to get about halfway down the hallway before having to catch her breath.
> 
> Bradford came out of one of the rooms and looked right at her and then at Steelbeak.  
> "I dont even wanna ask." He said before retreating back into the room.
> 
> This was going to take a long time.
> 
> ~~~
> 
> burnt chicken nugget
> 
> thanks for reading!
> 
> if you like ducktales and gravity falls i have something ive been working and yall better watch out


	11. metally mans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please dont question the names or summaries of these chapters i dont know what im doing anymore lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaa

FOWL:

heron: someone please tell me where all my rat food went?

dee: steelbeak

freshair: HEY IT TASTES GOOD OK AND HERON DOESNT NEED ALL OF IT THOSE LAB RATS ARE TINY 

heron: steelbeak please, you took three fourths of the bag

freshair: THE RATS ARE TINY

dee: steelbeak why dont you just eat chips or like cheetos like a normal person

freshair: BECAUSE I DONT LIKE CHIPS AND CHEETOS  
freshair: SNACKS ARE SNACKS

dee: they arent snacks if thats literally all youve eaten in the past like 2 days

heron: I was gone for TWO DAYS and steelbeak couldnt even keep a healthy diet

salt: once im done unloading the helicopter ill make you a nice sandwich and some tea!

freshair: wait where even were you blot and heron

salt: we were getting some ancient artifacts, i got you souvenirs

dee: cool

heron: steelbeak do you read ANY updates whatsoever

dee: does he look like a guy who would read anything?

freshair: yeah I don't keep up with your boring nerd stuff  
freshair: WAIT HEY

dee: lol  
dee: oh yeah steelbeak do u want my energy drinks? they taste really bad so like

freshair: im immune to caffeine 

dee: how-

freshair: i drank so many energy drinks that they dont affect me

dee: wh  
dee: pepper do you want them

freshair: no i still want them

dee: oh okay

salt: what kind of sandwich do you want  
salt: gandra do you also want one

freshair: just get me a fridge sandwich 

dee: sure  
dee: wait a what sandwich

salt: fridge sandwich is just a bunch of random stuff i find in the fridge, its really fun to do because i like being creative! :3

dee: yeah ill pass on that  
dee: just get me some classic pbj

salt: on it!  
salt: blot?

dee: bet he wants the souls of the innocent or something 

inkblot: get me some chicken breast please

dee: i am now incredibly uncomfortable 

heron: i never get why we eat the primitive versions of our species  
heron: good thing nobody dares to touch primitive herons 

dee: whenever i see steelbeak eat chicken nuggets i die a bit inside

freshair: wait what  
freshair: i thought they were just made by chickens what?  
freshair: like girl scout cookies??

dee: OH SHIT YOU DIDNT KNOW  
dee: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE LMAO

salt: so thats a no to putting chicken on your fridge sandwich 

freshair: no i still want it

dee: FSHSHSHHS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> made by girl scouts from girl scouts

**Author's Note:**

> https://discord.gg/dwrzz6Sp my duck server


End file.
